Motivation against depression: dear diary

I started keeping a diary when I was around 11/12. I was inspired by Dawn Summers in Buffy the Vampire Slayer to chronicle more than just ‘today I did…’, but rather to document how I was feeling and such. I didn’t always update it every day but nothing went undocumented. Last year I contemplated giving it up but was encouraged to keep going. Though I confess it hasn’t been frequent.

Yesterday I updated for the first time in about two weeks. I find myself writing more about how I’m feeling rather than what’s happened, which I’m not insinuating is a bad thing, it’s just out of the habit of what I used to do. I always fear stuff getting lost and I like to have my diaries as references for what’s gone on in my life. For example, I can look back to my teen years and cringe at my obsession with an Irish boy band.

When I did update yesterday, however, I wrote about stuff that had happened since my previous entry (though that wasn’t much of an update itself). I wrote about Berlin, not in great detail but enough to trigger the right memories for my future self. It felt good. I’m contemplating perhaps updating it every day from now on just to get myself back into the habit, so that I can update every other day eventually and not fall out of the habit again.

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