Motivation against depression: the big moments

‘Bottom line is, even if you see them coming, you’re not ready for the big moments. No one asks for their life to change, not really. But it does. So, what are we, helpless? Puppets? Nah. The big moments are gonna come, you can’t help that. It’s what you do afterwards that counts. That’s when you find out who you are.’

– Whistler, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (‘Becoming, Part One’)

In the supernatural world, this quote means a helluva lot more than it does to us ordinary folk. For me, the moment coming at me is buying a house. It’s not something that’s easily reversible but everybody does it, right? I want to buy a house, a nice house in a nice area. So what’s the problem? you may ask. Money isn’t an issue (though obviously a lot is going to be spent). My problem is that…I don’t feel like an adult.

Silly, I know.

Friends and family have told me there are moments when you realise you’re an adult, and that doesn’t necessarily happen as soon as you turn twenty. Maybe it’s something big like having a baby, when you grasp that you’re now responsible for this little person. Or maybe it’s something small, like a story I came across on Reddit of a user who said he/she got excited when a bin with a sensor built into its lid so you don’t have to touch it, arrived. I’ve yet to have that moment when I no longer feel like a minor.

It could be due to the fact that I still live at home with my parents, and while they don’t particularly shelter me, I do expect to have some harsh realities hit me hard when I do eventually leave the nest. Right now I’m living in denial as an unofficial adult and scared to death of taking that leap into essentially signing my life away for 35 years.

Am I ready?

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