Motivation against depression: anxiety and me

Yesterday I arrived at the multi-storey car park I park in for work. I rolled up to the ticket machine and slipped my prepaid parking pass into it. When the barrier didn’t rise I assumed it was a fault in the machine and so tried the second one. The screen on this one read: ‘Card not valid’. What? I literally topped the card up just last month! I pressed the Help button and was told to simply take a regular ticket and go to the help desk later (presuming the guy who deals with these issues wasn’t yet in).

I almost didn’t do my morning meditation because suddenly I was anxious. I know you must be thinking that meditation is perfect for anxiety, but don’t underestimate just how much of a worrying state I can get myself into. I acknowledged my anxiety but telling myself the following:

  • You’re paid up for three months’ parking
  • The guy at the help desk will fix the issue
  • You have a copy of your invoice as proof of payment

And yet in spite of all these valid points, I still kept worrying and picturing the worst-case scenarios. I imagined being told my payment was invalid (even though it was most definitely taken from my bank account), that I would have to pay for a day’s parking because they couldn’t figure out the issue, that I would have to sit in my office at least until lunchtime not knowing whether I’d be leaving the car park or not.

‘Because you’re a worrier,’ my mam said when I explained all this to her. And she’s right, of course. I get anxious over the most basic things, and yet the idea that I became so worried about something I knew had a quick and easy solution really bothers me.

Unfortunately the meditation only calmed me a little and work distracted me somewhat and I got my card sorted at lunchtime. I never did find out what the issue was but I just hope it doesn’t happen again.

#130_TinyPeople #365_Today

My picture of the day:

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2 thoughts on “Motivation against depression: anxiety and me

  1. I’ve had that happen too. Something small distract me that really shouldn’t. Like receiving an medical invoice on Friday that I can’t fix until Monday.

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