As I read more of Caroline Foran’s Owning It, I find myself reflecting on moments when I assumed I was fighting my anxiety, rather than seeing it as a helping hand (in a way). The moment that keeps coming to me the most is back in my third year of college. I had to make a presentation in front of my entire class regarding my mandatory volunteer work. I was so scared that I arrived to class ridiculously early and waited outside the classroom so I could tackle my lecturer and beg her to let me present first. I figured the sooner I did it, the less my anxiety would control me for the day.
I went first and the presentation went so good that classmates were praising me on it. My lecturer even stated it was the most she had ever heard me speak in the three years she had been teaching me. I felt I had essentially one-upped my anxiety but now looking at that memory with a new perspective, did my anxiety actually help me? Perhaps I’m clutching at straws, but maybe my anxiety helped me work up the courage to face my ultimate fear of making the presentation by going first rather than putting it off until the very end and allowing myself to panic even more than I already was.
It’s really made me think…