It’s all about control

I believe I experienced first-hand just how little control I have over my day. Stoicism has been trying to hammer it into me, but I guess I needed to experience it for myself. Here’s what happened.

Work was done for the day and I decided to grab a few ingredients for making my own cat food (this is part of my goal of ridding as much plastic from my life as I can), then I chose to take a different route home for a change. I’ve driven this road hundreds of times because I went to college near where I work, but I only take the route now and then.

I was making good time when suddenly a car moved out from the left, somehow not seeing me. I slammed on my brakes as hard as I could, but we made contact. I could hear the crunch of my bumper hitting that of the other car. I was pretty shaken up and there was little to no damage somehow though the other drive insisted on paying me for any potential repairs I may need. She was so unbelievably calm about it whereas I was a mess. We parted ways and I rang M to let him know what had happened. Then I went to start my car, and…nothing. My battery had completely died. For a few minutes I sat thinking ‘what the hell am I going to do? I’m stuck’. Then I remembered I had breakdown assistance as part of my insurance policy.

I wound up waiting an hour, but my car was jump-started within seconds and I got home just over two hours after I’d finished work. M said I was grey when he first saw me. I had had a migraine before the accident and so my head was pounding on top of my shock.

That was yesterday. I’m fine now, still with a touch of a headache but I’m taking something for it. Both me and my car are in one piece, that’s the main thing. I kept thinking of all the choices that lead to me being in that situation, then I remembered something I heard on Reddit. Think of all the crashes/near-misses/accidents I’ve avoided by the choices I made. And sadly, life is out of my control. I can plan everything down to a tee, but it could easily go south.

And here’s a fun fact: I’ve only ever experienced one other minor road incident. It was while I was in college and I bumped into the car in front. Again, there was no damage (though the other driver initially tried to get compensation). And get this – it was on the EXACT same road I hit the car yesterday. I think I’ll avoid that road for a while!

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4 thoughts on “It’s all about control

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