As I’ve said before I struggle to ignore the negative voice in my head that takes every opportunity to put me down, especially when I don’t do something I said I would. Yesterday I snapped, mentally I mean.
I’ve been finding it difficult to get up when I mean to ever since I moved offices, especially as half my week is working from home during Ireland’s third lockdown. Anyway, I skipped my run on Tuesday due to the heavy rain. Normally I wouldn’t use rain as an excuse to avoid running but I guess I really couldn’t discipline myself enough to do it that day. My inner negative voice (I should give her a name) made me feel like crap, especially when I got the bus to work rather than walk.
Come Wednesday and, despite working from home, I couldn’t get myself up in the morning to do my strength training. My inner voice kicked in with its criticisms about being lazy and such. As I was getting dressed I just stopped and stood still, mentally screaming ‘SHUT UP, JUST SHUT UP!’ I’ve heard you should address your inner voice with a kind voice when contradicting it but this is years of having to deal with this bitch building up. Once I shouted in my head, I told my inner voice that I will still have an opportunity to do my strength training after work before dinner, that there’s no rule that I have to do it in the morning or not at all. And guess what? I did. I even got a nice lunchtime walk in the snow/sleet.
Unfortunately I know this won’t mean the end of my negative inner voice taking digs at me but it was a small victory as I try to adjust myself to a new routine in my new situation. I got out for my run this morning but I got up later than I meant to so it became V a bit of a rush. Tomorrow is more strength training and my alarm is set for 7.00am. Let’s hope I can get up in time but if I don’t, I can do it after work. No big deal!